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Andrew Luck’s inner monologue during a typical snap in the 2010 Big Game:
Ready eight, ready eight! Stack! (center hikes the ball)
Man, this is so much fun. Oh shit, Whalen’s open! I’ll get him later.
I wonder where I’ll end up in April? Buffalo? San Francisco? Carolina? I hear that Clausen kid is a real douche.
Ooh, rush coming from the blindside, time to step up. (takes a step forward) Aah, I’ve got another couple of minutes before I actually have to let go of this thing. (looks at football) I really do like throwing these. But later, much later.
Is that a freaking hangnail? (examines hand) Ahh, nevermind, it’s just some artificial grass. (blows off dust). Now so fresh and so clean, clean!
By the way, who’s that covering Whalen again? Number 15? Holla!
Geez, now my shoelace is untied. (Kneels, tucks the football underneath his arm while tying his cleets)
Over, under, and around the tree!
Alright, ready to go. Where'd Whalen go? Hmm, you know what? f*** this, I’m going to run this shit. (takes off) Hey Cameron, see you next year on Sunday.
Geez, I can’t get the theme song of “Full House” out of my head these days. “Days go by…”
Here comes #11. I’m going to hurdle his ass if he comes low. Crap, he’s coming high. Andrew Chop! (shrugs off Sean Cattouse). Oh man, you okay? Medic? (bends down to pat Cattouse on shoulder). Oh yeah, end zone.
(takes off again)
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[Blogger's Note:]
Sorry, trying to entertain myself after the debacle that was the 2010 Big Game. The above post was meant to entertain in these difficult times rather than mock.
Will have a full post later.
5 comments:
For the first time ever at a Cal game, we left early today at halftime. I'm disgusted.
I'm disgusted that you left at halftime. True fans stay til the final whistle.
For what it's worth, I know a lot of fans who stopped watching at halftime.
I watched until the final whistle though! And got to witness another hook and lateral for a score. Woot!
Dear Anonymous - Congratulations on being a "true" Cal fan. Exactly how long have been this true fan?
I have never left early until yesterday. I sat through each and every Holmoe era game even (class of '87). But, I've had it at this point. I will no longer donate to Cal Athletics (I will still donate to Cal) and expect end zone seats for future football games.
You have to have a sense of humor to keep your sanity.
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